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| I had to take the boys to the groomer and the poor little ones had to get shaved! They went to Grandma & Grandpa's house for an overnight stay and a play date with Sadie & Gidget. (The in-laws two dogs) It's been snowing where they live so of course my little men have to wear sweaters, they don't handle heat or cold to well. I sent them with the normal sweaters they wear at home on the days it gets cold, but the mother-in-law had bought them new sweaters for their visit so they wore those. The sweaters while they were cute, are made out of wool and it causes static so of course they came home with matts all over them. I was not happy. The sweaters I have for them are fleece, which the groomer recommended as it won't cause the static therefore eliminating matts. It's been anywhere from 30-40° here, and my little men have had to wear their sweaters all the time. Diesel weighing in at a hefty 13 lbs has a little more meat on him, but my sissy little 8 lb Charlie shivers without the sweater. Look at how pissed he was at me when I brought them home from the groomers on Saturday. He wouldn't come near me until Monday!!
Diesel on the other hand couldn't have been happier, I think he likes his hair short. 
What a difference a year makes look at Charlie when we brought him home 
And here was Diesel as the 1.6 lb runt when we brought him home 
And look at them now!! This is what they normally look like before the "shaving incident" at the groomers 
Ah the joys of having little dogs with lots of hair. I can't complain though, I love it!! | | |
| I dumped my vicadin tonight, flushed it right down the toilet. I love the effects it has on me WAY too much. I take it and 10 minutes later I hear Willie Nelson & Ray Charles singing Seven Spanish Angels. Most of you don't even know that song and I recommend you check it out cuz it rocks, but I digress. The song is not the issue, the problem is that the vicadin makes me hallucinate, a little bit. I take it and it's like I'm having a private concert where Willie & Ray are sitting on my couches singing to me. I love the high it gives me and the pain it takes away, but the high is so high that I have no clue what is going on around me, how much time has passed, etc. I'm so weak in mind and spirit right now that it would be easy to succumb to popping pills and letting go of it all. So while I will miss Willie & Ray, the right thing to do was flush the devil and get back to dealing with life like I'm used to, by the balls!! So lookout, Super J is making a comeback....god help us all and wish me luck!! | | |
| Is what has happened in the past 48 hours. My neighbor, who is the last of my 5 girlfriends to be pregnant this year, had her baby on Christmas Eve. It's been a long time, 17 years almost, since I have been an active part all the way through a pregnancy with someone. It's funny too because of all my friends that gave birth this year, they all live far away from me and the pregnancies (to me of course) felt like they flew by. Being so close to my neighbor this time around it felt like it took forever, which is the norm from what my girlfriends tell me. She had a rough time, her water had leaked for too long and she wound up with an infection in the uterus which caused the infection; poor thing had a 103° when she delivered. I don't care who you are that is a high fever, not too mention what it was like for the baby that was inside of her. She had a gorgeous little girl, 7 lbs 2 oz 19.5", she has tons of black hair and has an olive complection like her mommy. I don't know what it is but olive complected babies are the best looking, it kills me. My oldest niece was as white as snow, and her younger sister had jet black hair and a tan that I spend all summer trying to get when she was born. When the hubby & I got home on Christmas Eve we took their trash out, cleaned up their house a little bit, decorated with the lovely "It's a girl" signs, fed the cat, got the mail, blah, blah, blah. I spent Christmas morning making food and freezing it so they only have to defrost and throw it in the oven; in the middle of all that came the phone call. My Dad's best friend who came to his funeral, his wife died on Christmas day. She had been sick with something similar to my Pops, but not for nearly as long. She left behind 4 adult children, 14 grandchildren, and one great-grandchild on the way. This man and his wife came to both of my weddings and have been major fans of mine since I was born. Their oldest children are my Godparents and I grew up with them. This death is harder for me than my Dads. In the last 24 hours I have been either crying or sleeping, no in between. I have a meeting with my boss tomorrow to go over my pipeline for work and where I plan to finish at the end of the fiscal year in June. This is something that I should have been working on for the last month, yah I haven't even started, and here I sit whining on Xanga. You know what, I could give a shit. Life is too short to write stupid fucking reports and worry about how much money I am required by contract to make my company. I will get the job done in an orderly fashion but in the mean time let me grieve in my own way - blah!! Hey maybe I should put that in my report?!?! I am definitely ready to close the books on 2007!! | | |
| That's the best way I can describe how I feel mentally. The death of my father has fucked me up more than I expected. On one hand I miss him terribly and find myself thinking back to the few good memories I have of him. Then reality sets in and the memories I have blocked out for years wash over me like a scary wave with horrible images of the beatings I took as a child both physically, mentally, and verbally. This has knocks me out and causes lots of nightmares, actually they are night tremors. I was plagued with them as a child and now they have come back. Of course they only happen when the hubby isn't home and I can't bring myself to tell him about them. So many horrible horrible things that I cannot find the courage to tell him about. I have never been so tired in all my life. You should see the puffy bags under my eyes, they aren't dark circles but it looks like I've aged 15 years in the past 4 weeks. I know this will pass with time and I'm fighting to not let myself completely get lost in it, it's so hard. I want to be in the holiday spirit so bad but I'm failing. Don't get me wrong I'm putting on a good show for friends and family, but I'm definitely not myself. I'm having these out of body experiences lately too. Take today for instance, well technically yesterday. My hubby's side of the family and I adopted a family for Christmas and we delivered the presents, tree and meals to them. I watched the whole thing from outside myself and for the first time saw how sad I am. I spent the day with them and came to stay the night, so that we can wake up together as a family for Christmas Eve. All day I have watched myself from outside of me, I don't know how to describe it. I've been horrible about corresponding with close friends, I read e-mails and listen to voice mails but don't return calls. I'm afraid I'm going to lose more people because of this funk, but I can't bring myself to say more than pleasantries but anymore than that and I'm out. I have an appointment with the counselor but not until mid January and I'm just treading water and taking vicadin until then. So if you have called/e-mailed me and I haven't written/called back, please don't give up on me. I'm not in a good place but I'm not gone either, I just need more time.  | | |
| I'm just getting home from Oregon where my sister, my niece, my brother and I were with my Dad while he passed away. His services are tomorrow at the church we grew up in here in CA. This is the obituary that was in the Sac Bee today, I will post more later. http://www.legacy.com/sacbee/DeathNotices.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=98829444 | | |
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